Fooling the Protector
by Candlewick
Summary: Pouncival, feeling hungry, drags his friend Tumblebrutus through an odd, funfilled adventure just to get something to eat. PouncivalTumblebrutus slash.


Some way away from the Jellicle junkyard lay a young kitten. The sun gazed down upon the field with burning eyes and warmed his striped coat. Close by, a bee hummed merrily while it fed on pollen from a snapdragon in full bloom. It landed on the kitten's nose and was promptly swatted away by an annoyed paw.

Pouncival rolled onto his stomach. "Ugh…" He moaned. How long had he been here? And where were his friends? Pouncival sighed and lifted his paws heavily to rub his sleepy face. His friends had been known to ditch him while he slept or even when he was awake. _I guess they think they're pretty funny_, he thought irritably. _I'll show them how funny it is to _me_…_

Once, Pouncival had casually told Alonzo, Mistoffelees, Plato, and Tumblebrutus that he hated being alone. He had tried to make it sound cool — like it was no big deal — but they still laughed at him. Alonzo had taken to cooing "Little Pouncie," at him whenever he was around and always told him how cute he was. The next day, the whole tribe suddenly knew that Alonzo went to Jennyanydots' house when he had nightmares and slept with the teddy bears of her kitten. The culprit was never found, but Alonzo didn't call Pouncival baby names after that.

In truth though, Pouncival was rather dependant on his friends. They always laughed at his jokes and all the silly things he did, especially Tumblebrutus, who often helped him in his pranks. Pouncival could never get enough attention because it always seemed that the Rum Tum Tugger was getting more. Pouncival thought he needed all the things the Rum Tum Tugger had, like being the center of everyone's attention. Like his friends, he worshipped the Tugger, and tried to act like him.

He became uncomfortable and rolled over again onto his back, purring loudly as he felt heat on his chest and legs. Stretching his arms skyward luxuriously, Pouncival opened his brown eyes to the sunlight. He immediately clapped his large paws over his abused kitten eyes. He moaned again.

"I was so comfortable…Stupid sun!" He yelled at where he presumed the ball of flame was. "I guess there's nothing else to do here but be cooked alive… Time to go back to the junkyard and get my revenge on those… those _queens_…" Snickering, he leapt up and grinned while he schemed.

As countless possibilities of humiliation and torture for his friends ran through his head his stomach growled for attention. That catnip he had sneaked earlier had left him feeling ravenous.

_How long _have _I been asleep?_ At least Munkustrap, the tribe's guardian, hadn't gone looking for him. Everlasting Cat, that tom was always watching his every move, making sure he wasn't doing anything too reckless. He could barely take one step out of Jellicle territory before Munkus — a nickname Pouncival invented to get on his nerves — was breathing down his neck. Munkustrap didn't even seem to be that much of a guardian. It was like he only existed to mommy Pouncival and show off for nearby queens.

One time, he had actually caught Munkustrap flexing his muscles in Demeter's direction while trying to give a lecture to him and Mistoffelees about respecting their elders. It was sort of hard to take him seriously. Sure, he guarded the Jellicles — which he was supposed to be doing all the time, not just when girl cats were around — when there were Macavity sightings. But it was annoying how Munkustrap seemed to be everywhere at once, catching Pouncival in the act of switching Skimbleshanks' morning tea for scotch, or tugging his ear off when he was tearing Mistoffelees' rainbow banner into something that looked like a colorful queen in a _very_ erotic pose.

When Munkustrap was running for the position of the guardian against Alonzo, Pouncival had a brilliant idea. To help out, he had made posters of Munkustrap with the words, "The ineffable Fluffy wants to protect queens!" Unfortunately, Munkustrap saw the posters before he and Tumblebrutus could post them around the junkyard. He couldn't hear out of his right ear for a week after that. So much for helping Munkus.

He continued walking. Along his path lay small rocks and he kicked them around, creating a game to make time go faster. Also, he was _really _hungry…

* * *

Pouncival stopped near an abandoned, rusty bike wheel and clutched his sides. _One of my friends better want to hunt some mice, because I feel like passing out from starvation! _He groaned. He quickly thought of his friends, and which one was likely to go mousing with him. Plato… no. He was mad at him. _Well, supposed to be. _Plato had threatened to beat Tumblebrutus up._ Really, I think that tom needs a little roughing himself. _Pouncival sat down carefully, feeling his aching and empty stomach, and closed his eyes._ Mistoffelees needs it way more, though. That cat acts so girly I think he's going to turn into one soon. Lame airs and graces. It would be fun to hunt with Alonzo… Yeah, he has a style I dig_.

Falling onto his front paws, Pouncival crawled on for a while in the direction of Alonzo's hangout. A ragged curtain covered the entrance. Pouncival thought he could hear the squeals of girl kittens, but then shook his head and thought better of it. He pushed the curtain to one side and poked his head through the opening.

"Yo, Alonzo! Want to —" He stopped. Inside, there on a bed, lay Victoria and Etcetera with Alonzo. He was feeding them squirming mice. With his _mouth_. Pouncival gagged. _How sick! _Victoria was lying pinned underneath Alonzo and Etcetera was lying on her back near Victoria's head, kicking her paws and legs excitedly. Alonzo was smiling as seductively as he could around a mouthful of squirming rodent.

Pouncival practically did a back flip while trying to escape, and gagged again, this time on an upcoming hairball, when he glimpsed Etcetera licking mouse bits from Victoria's open mouth while Alonzo stared at them both with lust-filled eyes. Pouncival fell onto his back and clutched his chest in a mock heart attack, and heard a tom's voice say, "Wow, ladies, you continue to impress the 'Lonz."

While he was scrambling away, he thought he could hear Alonzo telling the girls to perform a very naughty-sounding thing, which produced a high pitched giggle from Etcetera.

Once out of hearing range, Pouncival let out a surprised squeak, but then began laughing so hard that he fell on the ground and knocked the wind out of himself. After gasping for breath, he covered his mouth when he felt the hairball coming up again, but leaned over and heaved out the slimy thing. He wiped his mouth with the back of his paw. He thought about the scene he had witnessed. _I never knew Alonzo was… into things like that._ Pouncival's face broke into a silly grin. He had part of his revenge plan down.

Thinking harder, he realized that Alonzo was even worse than the Rum Tum Tugger. The worst thing Tugger did was shake his hips and other parts into the faces of giggling queens. Well, as far as he knew. If he kept this up, Alonzo would bypass Tugger in popularity with the girls very soon. Alonzo even had made up a title for himself! And he was referring to himself in third person. Never mind, Pouncival had his stomach and its needs to think about. _Tumblebrutus better want to go. And he better not be doing anything… weird.  
_

* * *

Tumblebrutus licked his lips while shifting his head into a more comfortable position. In his dream, he was chasing a mouse through a field of catnip galore. After catching the mouse with an easy swipe of his paw, he pierced the skin of the rodent, letting the blood trail down his paw. He brought the terrified mouse to his mouth, and just as he placed it on his salivating tongue, ready to bite down and taste the coppery blood, it opened its tiny mouth and yelled, "Tumblebrutus, I'm hungry! _Hungry_…" Tumblebrutus blinked, and the mouse began to shake in his grip, causing him to tremble also.

He was being shaken awake by a blurry figure, and was starting to feel sick. Squinting his eyes to see better in the sunlight, he saw who it was. Pouncival was probably the most annoying kitten he knew, but impossible not to like. Still, Tumblebrutus was angry for being interrupted during his pleasant dream.

Tumblebrutus hissed furiously and ripped the paws off from his shoulders. "You idiot! What's wrong with you, Pouncival?" He yelled. "You can't go around shaking toms awake!" He collapsed onto the tire he had been sleeping on. He could almost _taste_ the mouse. _I was so close!_

"What," Pouncival said innocently, "do you mean? I only shook a tiny _kitten_ awake… the only tom I see is the devilishly handsome one right here." He looked into a broken shard of mirror when he said this, smoothing back his short mane.

While Tumblebrutus shook with laughter at this, his anger currently forgotten, he accidentally rolled off of his resting spot and onto concrete below. He yowled in fright, and was cut short when he hit the ground with a painful smack. He cringed in pain, expecting to have quite a few bruises later.

Pouncival looked into the eyes of the hurt cat. "Now who's the dumb one, _Tumble_?" He put an emphasis on that word that suggested something insulting.

He jumped down from the tire with grace. Tumblebrutus remained on the ground, his face pressed unseen against the concrete. Smirking, he waited until he sensed Pouncival was near, and proceeded to leap up and tackle him. The cat let out a surprised meow, and they together fell onto the ground in an awkward heap. Tumblebrutus laughed, making sure that his friend knew this wasn't to be taken seriously.

The tom laughed back, with some difficulty, since his stomach, which had enough discomfort this day, was being pressed inward by his friend's knees. After a few moments of confusion, Pouncival dislodged him and got up, brushing off his stubby mane and coat with a style similar to the Rum Tum Tugger's. He helped Tumblebrutus up with a reluctant paw, and explained his serious problem once he had made a show of wiping his paws clean from the contact.

"Tumblebrutus, you're going hunting with me today. My stomach hurts, and I feel hungry enough to eat one of Munkustrap's gross homemade mice pies…" Tumblebrutus stared at him, but couldn't hold back a shudder at the thought of the pies. "Come on! I think I'm going crazy too, because I'm starting to feel bad about that time I ate all of Bustopher Jones' rice pudding that he was going to give to Mistoffelees… Look at these innocent eyes, don't you feel sorry for me? Anyway, if you don't go mousing with me right _now_, I'm going to die of hunger and the blood will be on _your_ hands! Don't you see? This could be the last time you ever see me… alive."

Pouncival theatrically stumbled around until falling onto the ground, again, and sticking his tongue out in mock death. Tumblebrutus played along with it.

"Don't die! I'll hunt with you, and may you live to see another Jellicle Moon." He bowed his head and tilted his ears downwards humbly. Of course, he was smirking the whole time, but his "dead" friend didn't catch that.

Pouncival opened his eyes. "No, you'd better leave me. It's too late…" He stuck his tongue out once again.

"Okay," Tumblebrutus shrugged, starting to walk away.

Pouncival let out a shocked yelp. "I mean…" He struggled for words. "It's too late… to… not help… me… hunt mice! You swore; there's no turning back now. Anyways, you can't just go off and ditch me _again_." A sly grin appeared on his feline face, and he rubbed his paws together mischievously.

Tumblebrutus sighed. Still, he felt a tiny bit hungry and honestly, he had missed Pouncival's company in those hours he was gone. They were usually always together, putting insects and small mice in queens' hair or painting graffiti on the side of Skimbleshanks' train… Ah, those were the days.

He smiled at Pouncival and said, "We have to actually get past the guard to get out of here, you know. So… what's the plan, comrade?"

His sly grin only got wider. "Oh, I know something that Munkustrap's never going to live down… But," he said thoughtfully. "It'll take a distraction…"

Tumblebrutus had seen that look before, and it wasn't one he liked.

* * *

­

"— I don't _want _to be a girl, Pouncival."

"But Tumblebrutus, you've got such a slim feminine waist, and you _always _have pretty clipped claws… Just like Demeter."

Tumblebrutus stared up into the sky. He could never talk Pouncival out of anything, especially schemes having to do with his stomach. Speaking of stomachs, he stared down at his waist, which seemed perfectly masculine to him.

He closed his eyes. "If you want to embarrass Munkustrap so bad, why don't _you_ be Demeter?" Pouncival seemed extremely offended at this.

"_I_ can't be a girl! If I get too close to Munkustrap, my fur gets all itchy and I sneeze a lot. Rashes start popping up in weird places, too. Anyway, he'd recognize my voice. I'm always around him 'cause I get into trouble. I'm just _wilder_ than you'll ever dream to be. Sorry." He was acting more and more like the Tugger every day.

"Yeah," Tumblebrutus snickered. "I just didn't know that _wild_ cats get scared of themselves." Once, when they were hanging around near Mistoffelees' den, Pouncival had curiously peered into a shiny surface and seen another cat that had coincidentally looked exactly like him. He ran home and had refused to come out for days until Plato had explained to him that he had only seen himself.

"I don't think that was me. If it was, I wasn't _scared_. I just thought that tom looked so… so _sexy_ that I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want anyone else to be dimmed from my — I guessed it was me — radiance." He coughed and got up from his position next to Tumblebrutus and stretched his legs.

It seemed he still had more to say, and he quickly sputtered, "I'm over that." Tumblebrutus started to snigger, but was interrupted as Pouncival continued to talk.

"Okay, if you're going to be Demeter, you have to act and sound like her, too. We can't take long, but I think we should spy on her… you know, get you the mood. 'Kay?"

"Alright," said Tumblebrutus. "But we should, like, get my..." he gritted his teeth. "_Queen_ costume on me, I guess."

"I wasn't going to dress you up until later, but if you really want to... Let's go to Mistoffelees'. I bet he has loads of makeup and girly things. Sparkly magic, too, for queens like you, Tumblykins."

Tumblebrutus got up, and heard Pouncival trying hard not to laugh. It didn't work. He burst out laughing like a popped balloon, and messed up his friend's mane playfully. Tumblebrutus tried to ignore him as they walked to their friend's place, but it got annoying when he kept randomly bursting into fits of laughter and saying, "Tumblebrutus… Demeter!" and how "posh" he would be.

When they finally reached their destination, Pouncival had an even worse stomach ache and Tumblebrutus' cheek was red and sore from constantly being pinched by his amused friend. He tried to laugh casually at this, but the result was more teasing.

Pouncival walked near the hole of a tire that was the entrance to the magician's home. They could faintly hear pleasantly surprised moans coming from inside.

Pouncival jumped back and his eyes widened. "Wha —? Why is everyone getting some except you and me? What does the Everlasting Cat have against us? Why? WHY!"

Tumblebrutus raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" Pouncival smiled sneakily.

"Oh, Alonzo was with these two girl kittens… doin' _bad_ things... I didn't like it, man!" He said quickly at the look on Tumblebrutus' face. It was half like he was going to laugh and tease and half like he was going to cough up a hairball, like Pouncival had done earlier. "I just usually get the attention." He was really telling the truth. Mostly.

"Whatever, let's go in." They walked in hesitantly. What they found wasn't what they had expected, though. Mistoffelees was actually quite alone, but was in front of a mirror, watching himself shoot sparks from his paws and making awed 'ooh's' and 'ah's'.

Tumblebrutus and Pouncival looked at each other. And starting laughing. Mistoffelees stopped the small show he had made for himself and spun around to see the two toms clutching their sides. Tumblebrutus was thrown onto a chair by the force of his laughs, and Pouncival had to bend over and hold onto the seat for support.

The magician watched this scene and partially hid his blushing face. Once he realized that he still had glitter in his mane from an effort to seem magical, he shook his head fiercely to extract the remains before his friends could see. He had a little gloss on his lips, but the toms had edged too close to him before he could safely wipe it off.

"Whoa, Mr. Mistoffelees," Tumblebrutus gasped. "I didn't know you were so lonely that you performed for yourself! And you wear lip gloss. I like it; very tom-ish." Pouncival gave his friend a high-five.

Mistoffelees muttered something about, "peaches and cream…" to himself. After a while, they had been reduced to occasional giggles, mostly from Pouncival, who had rejoiced because he had found another something to payback his friends with.

"What do you want, please?" Mistoffelees asked politely. If anyone had manners, it was this cat, and he felt he had to compensate for their rudeness.

The trio was now lying down on Mistoffelees' bed which was dyed a depressing black. The bed was soft and comfortable, though, as it was stuffed with cotton and foam. He always had the very best of everything in the junkyard, besides what thieves like Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer snatched for themselves. The rest of his room was neat. Everything in it matched Mistoffelees fur in colors of either black or white. He was picky about matching.

Pouncival began his tale when his stomach first started hurting (supplying heavy blaming on the other two) to the time they had come to Mistoffelees for help. During his woe-filled explanation, Tumblebrutus studied the rest of this tom's room.

On one shelf lay a card Mistoffelees had gotten from Victoria on his last birthday. Inside were congratulations and a declaration of love. The shy magician had been very embarrassed. He did like Victoria, but he was shockingly interested in Bombalurina. She was one fiery queen and definitely appealed to everyone in his group of friends, but Tumblebrutus had always thought Mistoffelees preferred someone sweeter, like Victoria… or Skimbleshanks. Nice guy. Personally, he thought Bombalurina was out of Mistoffelees' league. The Rum Tum Tugger had his sights set on her, and no one, man or beast, could win anything over the Tugger. Besides, what would they talk about? Flattering shades of lip gloss?

The edges of his mouth quirked up some at this thought and he looked at other objects carefully placed around the room. He spotted leaves of catnip from previous raids and a stuffed mouse lying in the middle of the pile, a tall magically-made column covered in claw marks, and jars filled with what appeared to be makeup. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a white shelf crammed with books discussing magic. Some seemed to be about the nature of queens… A few books lay open on a small, glistening black table, next to a cup of water and half-eaten bird stew.

Focusing his attention elsewhere, trying not to listen as Pouncival told Mistoffelees about Tumblebrutus leaving him to "wither away in hunger-filled agony," he spied a long piece of wood Plato had helped make Mistoffelees. Plato was smart, but this wand wasn't all that great. It was supposed to make Mistoffelees' magic more focused and possibly stronger, but as they skimmed books on making wands they had misread the type of wood needed. The magic had scattered in many directions at once, one ray hitting Plato in his right eye. The impact temporarily blinded him, and a large amount of fur near his eye had been burnt off. Plato wore an eye patch until he healed, earning him a few crushes. "It's incredibly dashing!" several kittens had said. Tumblebrutus snorted in disagreement.

Suddenly, he was being jutted in his side by a persistent elbow. How much was he going to be mistreated today?

"I said, 'We thought you'd help us make Tumblebrutus look like Demeter, right?'" Pouncival said with a little annoyance.

"Yeah," muttered Tumblebrutus. He wasn't psyched about dressing up as a girl.

"Well, that's just swell!" Mistoffelees said excitedly. "I've been wanting to practice my magic on something!"

"No, it's not like that. We just need makeup and —"

"Oh, don't be silly," he tapped Tumblebrutus' paw. "I'm getting lots better at magic and I could glamour your fur to make it look like Demeter's. You'll have to make some of the markings, probably, but don't worry 'cause I've got _so_ much makeup! Chi-yah!" he winked at them.

Pouncival remembered why he hadn't wanted to hang out with this guy. What a pansy. "You can pretty up Tumble, then. I'll be outside." He glanced in Tumblebrutus' direction, who was giving him a death glare.

He heard Mistoffelees say, "Okay, now just stand over there while I get a picture of Demeter…" This was going to be great.

* * *

Pouncival sat down on a ripped off book cover as he waited for Tumblebrutus. Just sitting there, waiting. For a while, the only thing he _did_ was wait. A few times he heard Tumblebrutus yelling at Mistoffelees. Other times he could hear Mistoffelees giggling girlishly. A sweet-smelling perfume had drifted out.

The junkyard was fortunately rather noisy that day, and so Pouncival could entertain himself. He watched other cats laugh, play games, and _eat_ _food_ that his stomach was begging to consume. Off near a garbage heap he could see Jemima and Electra talking. Electra had her head lying in Jemima's lap, and was being groomed by her friend.

Looking around, he thought he saw Bombalurina. If there was Bombalurina, there was Demeter. Getting up, he crouched and tip toed a little closer. Once he was close, he hid behind a rusty can and slowly peeked over the top of it. It was definitely her.

Bombalurina was lying in the sun, her body spread over a tattered piece of carpet. The queen's eyes were closed, and her arms were stretched above her head a bit seductively. Pouncival licked his lips. Suddenly, he felt a lot warmer than he was before. _You aren't here to spy on girls, Pouncival! You're here to watch Demeter!_ His stomach agreed. Still, it wouldn't hurt to have a peek, and Demeter wasn't in sight.

He knew why Mistoffelees liked this girl. She was just so alluring, even when she was napping! Beautiful, too. The tom slowly looked her up and down, taking in the rose red of her fur, those black stripes, and the cream of her chest. And her mane! She must style it every day, he decided. No other mane was as _pretty_ as hers. Gazing at her face, he sighed. He wished he was the Rum Tum Tugger right now.

The womanly feline parted her red lips slightly, letting out a soft moan. _There has been a lot of moaning today. It's getting to me… in a bad way._ She changed position to laying on her right side. After stretching in a most scandalous way, she bent a knee towards her body. The red queen rested one paw on the inside of her thigh and let one lay on the side of her curvy waist. The paw on her thigh played with fur. He watched as it —

Pouncival couldn't stand much more of this. He felt like he would faint if he got any warmer. Dragging up a paw and wiping sweat off the brown stripe on his face, he finally saw Demeter, who was walking towards Bombalurina and looked as if she was talking to herself.

She sat down cross-legged next to her friend and tapped her lightly on her black nose. The nose twitched… charmingly, Pouncival thought. He wished he weren't a kitten. If he were older, he'd have more of a chance with her.

"Bombalurina," Demeter whispered. "Wake up; I need to tell you something."

Bombalurina shifted and opened her pretty blue eyes. Pouncival couldn't see what color they were. "Thanks for interrupting my nap… Yeah, so what's up?" She sat up intently.

"Well," Demeter whispered hesitantly and looked around. She thought she saw something behind a tin can sitting in front of them, but when she looked again, nothing was there. Bombalurina put an arm around her shoulders and leaned in close.

"You don't have to whisper," the scarlet feline breathed. "Besides, who will hear? Macavity? If anyone does, you can make sure to hunt them down. I'm your best friend, girl. C'mon."

Demeter laughed lightly and raised her voice. "Well, it's about Munkustrap." Pouncival's ears perked up. This was just too perfect. "He's coming on to me… I don't know what to do! I feel nervous around him. He's so attractive and protective and sweet, though. _And_ he's a hero to the kittens, especially Pouncival. They're always together; they seem close." The brown and white kitten snorted. That was far from the truth.

"Then why don't you know what to do? Flirt, Demeter! You need to make a move; be daring. Toms like that." Bombalurina seemed to be thinking about a certain cat while she said this.

"I don't know. But I have actually… when I was... well, never mind." She left it at that, but it seemed as if she wanted Bombalurina to question her. She looked away, smirking.

Bombalurina caught on. "…And? What happened? I need to know these things! If you're getting busy with Munkustrap, then I need to know _now_."

Pouncival flicked his tail impatiently. "Oh, it's nothing," Demeter said. "I was talking to him when he was on guard duty, because that's usually when he's all alone, and… it's just that I, you know, pinched his _butt_..." She started to examine her claws. Pouncival accidentally banged his head on the can.

Bombalurina gasped. "No way! When?" She turned Demeter to face her.

Demeter looked up quickly and smiled excitedly. "Yesterday! I know, I just couldn't help it! It was there, so I thought, 'might as well,' and I did it, Bombalurina!"

The two hugged, giggling madly. Pouncival stared at Demeter. He was learning new things about everyone. Bombalurina asked about all the "juicy details," and Demeter talked about how muscular Munkustrap's… well, how muscular _it_ was. As they discussed this, Pouncival slipped away and reversed his tip toeing back to Mistoffelees' home.

When he arrived, he saw Mistoffelees sitting in front of the entrance to his house. He had obviously been waiting for Pouncival, since his head was in his paws. Also, he was clawing at the ground with an extended claw, and was humming absentmindedly. As Pouncival approached, Mistoffelees eagerly bolted into a standing position.

"He's finished!" He quickly reported. "It took less time because he drew on extra markings while I worked on his coat. He's such a great, cooperative kitty! Want to see?" Pouncival nodded and started bouncing, he was so excited.

Mistoffelees beamed at Pouncival, standing in front of the tire. He threw his paws into the air dramatically. "I give you, the gorgeous tom… Demeter!" Pouncival had to laugh at this. Demeter was certainly no tom, judging by what she did to Munkustrap.

He could hear a faint rustling coming from the inside, and then Mistoffelees stepped out of the way, bowing down low to Pouncival. He might have been expecting to be applauded, but Pouncival was too shocked to do anything except stare at Tumblebrutus when he emerged. It was rather ungraceful, as he managed to trip on the tire and fall on his face. Tumblebrutus rose, brushing dirt off his coat, making it return to its former splendor.

Tumblebrutus _was_ a tom, but this costume, from a certain distance, made him look almost as if he were Demeter herself. The fur shone brightly, now golden with appealing black markings. His mane was fluffed out, perhaps enchanted by magic, and seemed to be trimmed. Stripes were highlighted with shades of yellow, and some places were bleached. Tumblebrutus had drawn markings around his eyes, bringing out the green in them that Pouncival hadn't known was there. If it hadn't been for Pouncival, who had taught him well in the art of disguises, he could never have achieved this. The golden fur covering his body looked soft and pretty in the sunlight. He was too stunned to speak.

Tumblebrutus shifted uncomfortably. "I know it's bad," he muttered. "I'm not really a queen, but I tried to do the makeup right. I did. It's not like _you_ could do any b —"

The stunned tom interrupted. "No, it's okay. It'll pass." He gained a little confidence. "Not really what I wanted, but if that's the best… fine." He crossed his arms in what he hoped to be superiority.

His friend fumed, tugging at his new locks of gold. "Pouncival, you are so… Aargh! We worked so hard… and you — just — never mind. What does it matter, anyway? I'm in on this to get some dinner." He plopped down on the ground in exhaustion.

Pouncival walked over and sat down next to his friend. He was reminded of when Bombalurina put her arm around Demeter to comfort her, but he went the tiniest amount red at the thought of doing that to Tumblebrutus. A punch on the arm sufficed. "Chill, man. Let's go and sneak past Munkus, 'kay? I spied on Demeter and know _exactly_ what to do. Oh, by the way Mistoffelees… thanks. I'm glad you're so girly."

Looking at them graciously, the magical tom glowed with pride, his black eyes gleaming happily. "Anything! If you ever want to dress up again for fun, just know I'll be here. I've got oodles more that you tom-toms haven't seen! Like this cutesy —"

"Uh, that's okay," Tumblebrutus said quickly, flattening his ears against his skull. Pouncival hid his face and shook with laughter. "Let's go, Pouncival. Bye, Misto." Mistoffelees stopped smiling.

"M-Misto? A nickname? No one's ever liked me enough to call me one… I was always the reject off in the corner, conjuring magical sparklies for company. I'll never forget you! Never…!"

Tumblebrutus looked away, murmuring, "Great…" under his breath.

The tomcats decided to leave the sobbing Mistoffelees, and Tumblebrutus gently patted his back as they crept away. Pouncival didn't pat his back, but kept walking away, hoping Mistoffelees wouldn't notice. A look of revulsion appeared on his face when Mistoffelees leapt on his shoulder, wiping snot into the thick fur. They couldn't get the magician off Pouncival for a while.

Under the heat of a blazing sun ran two toms, who were keeping mostly to the shadows. They avoided two jabbering queens who were bathing in the sunlight.

* * *

Two cats were seen creeping up behind a tree, not far off from a silver striped tom by the name of Munkustrap. The felines were too big to hide behind one tree. Pouncival scrambled off behind another tree. Once there Pouncival started whispering to Tumblebrutus, which was quite unknown to the vigilant guard.

"Okay, remember the plan, Tumblebrutus?" Pouncival said quietly. "While you do your thing, I'll sneak past. Then chase away Munkustrap so we can HUNT!" he said this last part rather loudly. Realizing his mistake, they pressed themselves up against their individual tree as the guardian looked suspiciously in that direction. He shook his head and continued patrolling the Jellicle border.

After a while, they continued talking. Tumblebrutus hissed as they discussed details.

"If this doesn't work, Pouncival…"

"No, it will! I've done this before."

"You've dressed up as a queen before?"

"Yeah, when I'm all alone, sometimes I like to. You know, put on pretty clothes and things —" he smacked Tumblebrutus upside the head. "No, you idiot! I mean, I've _deceived _before…"

The brown kitten snickered. "Great. Now my friend's picking up Rum Tum Tugger's _and_ Grizabella's habits."

"Just go."

Laughing, he padded out from behind the tree on all fours. His tail twitched nervously. He could see his target pacing soldier-like and whistling. The tune sounded familiar, but what mattered was to get past this barrier to food.

He heard a frantic whispering behind him, and turned toward it. "Remember, be Demetalicious!" He gave him a thumbs-up. The other tom grimaced and continued on his way.

Tumblebrutus walked up behind Munkustrap. He timidly rubbed himself against his legs to get his attention, but then hurriedly backed up. Munkustrap turned around and looked downwards, holding a paw up to block out the sun, which was a couple hours away from setting.

"Who is that?" _Oh, great_… _I blew it. I'm done for; I'm — _"Demeter?" Tumblebrutus nodded jerkily, relieved, and stood. "I, uh, didn't recognize you. You look different. Pretty, I mean! As usual." Tumblebrutus felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. This was a new thing for him, flirting with toms… But it was technically Demeter who was being flirted to. This made him feel better.

"Really, Munkustrap? I wanted to look good for you." Tumblebrutus took a step closer to him, inwardly cursing Pouncival. The guard was obviously not used to this kind of Demeter, but he seemed to like it, anyway.

"Thank _you_… Your gold is brighter today. I love it." He stepped closer to Tumblebrutus.

"Oh, you're just so —" He gritted his teeth. "_Sweet_. What strong arms you have." A step closer.

"Tell me more, Demeter." Step.

"Ug — _hand_some tabby stripes…" He twirled fur from Munkustrap's mane in between his fingers. Another step.

"Yes..." Step.

He couldn't keep stalling; he wanted this over. So he yelled, "Oh, protect me, Munkus!" Munkustrap must've really liked this nickname when Tumblebrutus said it, even though he hated it when Pouncival did. The guard took the rest of the steps separating them and pressed their bodies together passionately. Munkustrap put Tumblebrutus' arms on his shoulders and placed his around the other's waist, pushing his face into Tumblebrutus' fur and breathing deeply.

"You smell so good, Demeter," Munkustrap whispered seductively as he nuzzled Tumblebrutus.

Pouncival had been watching this entire thing, at first trying to stifle the laughter that was threatening to burst forth. Now, as he watched as the two toms' bodies together, he felt a little different, kind of like how he felt when he thought about Bombalurina, Cassandra, or, when he was in the mood to be reprimanded, Jennyanydots. He definitely didn't feel like laughing anymore.

He was openly staring now. If Tumblebrutus had actually been a queen, which he wasn't, Pouncival would have thought that he looked kind of good as Demeter. No, not _just_ good, but strangely … _attractive_. But Tumblebrutus wasn't, and so he didn't. He and Tumblebrutus were just friends. Maybe closer, like brothers. Yeah, he definitely wasn't noticing how nice Tumblebrutus' thighs were, or the curve of his back as he – _NO! WRONG!_

Pushing all thoughts of Tumblebrutus' thighs out of his mind, Pouncival wiped the sweat from his paws. When had it gotten so hot out here? Tumblebrutus was standing slightly rigid while Munkustrap ran his paws over places Tumblebrutus probably hadn't even touched. Wasn't he worried someone would see him copping a feel in the middle of the junkyard? He was _supposed _to be on guard duty. After Tumblebrutus tried to act like he was enjoying it and giving a small moan, Munkustrap had gone so over the edge with excitement that he threw them both to the ground.

Munkustrap got up and straddled Tumblebrutus' hips. As he was leaning down to give him a kiss, Tumblebrutus put a paw over the tabby's mouth in desperation. Munkustrap looked confused and sexually frustrated.

"Uh, M-Munk-kustrap," Tumblebrutus stuttered. "We really sh-shouldn't do this here in t-the open." He tried to control his speaking. "How about you g-go to your den and get it ready for me? I'll come back at mi-midnight…" He swallowed dryly and attempted to look charmingly suggestive.

"Okay…" he got up and helped Tumblebrutus to his feet, pressing against him once more. "But just one kiss? To tide me over until tonight?"

"No! I mean, save all that for later. And you can get someone else to guard… please, my big manly guardian?" Munkustrap beamed and nodded in pride. Tumblebrutus waited for him to leave. "… Go!" Munkustrap jumped and scampered off after giving "Demeter," one last look. He blew a parting kiss. When he turned back around, Tumblebrutus dodged the kiss by throwing himself on the ground.

* * *

Once they were in the woods, they immediately started hunting for mice. Pouncival had tried to start a conversation with Tumblebrutus a few times, but was ignored. Eventually he gave up and went on hunting.

Over the next hour Pouncival had eaten enough mice to feed two full grown cats. Even so, he still searched for more tasty rodents. Tumblebrutus had barely caught any.

After trapping a mouse between two large paws, Pouncival looked over at his friend, who was lying on his stomach, his head resting on his paws. He was a little pale from a shortage of food, which Pouncival understood perfectly. Glancing at the frightened mouse, he walked toward Tumblebrutus. The angry kitten looked away when he sat down next to him. Pouncival didn't feel _as_ awkward around his friend as he had before, but this didn't make him feel any better.

Tumblebrutus began ripping grass out of the ground. Pouncival cleared his throat. "Take my mouse. I've had like a hundred. Anyways… you could barely hunt your own tail if you tried." He smiled jokingly, but the other cat took it personally.

"I'm that bad at hunting, huh? Then why did you need me to come with you? To dress me up like a queen and make me watch while you eat the whole forest down? Thanks for all that." As he was talking, he stared Pouncival hard in his jade eyes. He cringed guiltily.

"C'mon," Pouncival pushed the mouse temptingly close to Tumblebrutus' mouth. "I know I was a stupid jerk, but you can't stay mad at me forever! We're best friends, Tumble. I know all your secrets… if we became enemies, there's no knowing what I'd do." This produced a quick smirk. "Yeah! Like all those times you cried on my shoulder or how you still nurse on your mom —"

"Okay, okay!" Tumblebrutus laughed. "Fine. But I'll never be able to look at him the same way again. Never. And I'll definitely never forget how Munkustrap touched my — my — my _tomhood_… And he didn't even _notice_... What the — !"

Pouncival grinned while shrugging. "Sorry. Nothing stands between me and food." Tumblebrutus wasn't sitting up yet, but he wasn't lying on his stomach anymore. At least he was laughing.

"Pouncival, you're an idiot." Tumblebrutus pulled Pouncival down into a headlock, ruffling his mane once again. He heard muffled shouts of, "Stop messing up my mane, man!"

He let his friend go, who immediately smoothed his messy fur. The mouse was safe in his paws. He took it out of captivity and held it by the tail over Tumblebrutus' mouth.

"What are you _doing_?" he asked incredulously, eyeing the dangling mouse.

"Feeding you. Just pretend you're a blind newborn kitten, and it'll be fine. My mom still does this to me sometimes, but in public so she can embarrass me."

"That makes me feel better," he muttered, but opened his mouth.

Pouncival lowered the mouse into Tumblebrutus' waiting mouth, only to pull it out teasingly. The weirdest feeling of déjà vu came over him. After doing this a couple times and dodging Tumblebrutus' annoyed tongue, he realized why this seemed so familiar: he was acting just like _Alonzo_! Balling up the mouse in his paw, he quickly shoved it into his friend's mouth, almost gagging him in the process. The mouse was then chewed and swallowed by a pleased-looking Tumblebrutus. Pouncival's paw was still touching the other tom's lips.

Tumblebrutus looked into Pouncival's brown eyes before he pulled away, keeping his paw there just a little too long. Tumblebrutus sat up and tried to laugh it off. Nothing had happened, just a touch between friends, which was, needless to say, completely normal.

"Well, uh," Tumblebrutus began, and looked towards the setting sun. "It's gonna get dark. We should leave." his stomach growled loudly enough for Pouncival to hear.

"You don't want any more mice?" he looked mildly surprised.

"No. One was enough to last me all day," he glanced around as he mumbled this and got onto his feet. "C'mon, let's go."

Pouncival sighed melodramatically, pushing himself into a standing position. As soon as he got up, he received an odd expression. "Um, Tumblebrutus, I —" He was interrupted by a sound. And not just any sound. A sound that put fear into their hearts. It was the sound of a barking Pollicle.

"P-Pollicles…" Pouncival stuttered in fear. The cats looked to the right, and saw a shadow moving beneath the rising moon.

"Run, Pouncival," Tumblebrutus commanded. The tom did nothing. "RUN!" He grabbed onto Pouncival's right paw, pulling him as they raced through the woods, a bloodthirsty Pollicle loping close behind.

* * *

Pouncival's heart thumped hard in his chest, and he saw by the look on Tumblebrutus' face that he too was frightened. As they ran, he gasped for air and clutched at a stitch in his side. They were running so fast that he could barely make out the objects they ran by. The only thoughts on his mind were to outrun the Pollicle, and keep a firm grip on Tumblebrutus.

The brown and white fur covering his body was blown backwards by freezing wind. His friend seemed to be blown back also, as he slipped out of Pouncival's grasp and fell onto the forest ground, panting. Pouncival ran back to Tumblebrutus. The Pollicle was gaining on them.

"Tumblebrutus!" He huffed. "Get up!" He put his arms under Tumblebrutus' shoulders and heaved. The Pollicle was so close now. They couldn't escape with Tumblebrutus like this.

He picked up Tumblebrutus and they returned to running. Tumblebrutus ran heavily and slowed them down. Pouncival wasn't nearly as tired as his friend, but not many cats were as active as he was.

A cry rang in Pouncival's ears. Whipping around, he spotted Tumblebrutus lying face down on the ground, with a Pollicle fang pierced through his ankle and a chunk of ear ripped away. Pouncival flattened his ears against his head and arched his back. His fur bristled angrily. He slunk low to the ground, trying to sneak up upon the vicious Pollicle.

When he got close to Tumblebrutus, the monster twitched his large nose and removed his teeth from the tom. He glared at Pouncival, who hissed back. The beast bounded forward, but was easily dodged. The cat scrambled to Tumblebrutus and picked him up again, this time wrapping his arms around him and pulling him to his feet. While the Pollicle looked around blindly for the toms, Pouncival ran, muscles straining, into a cave-like shelter. He threw them both into the darkness of the entrance after purposely rubbing himself in a stray patch of clovers.

The Pollicle raised his nose high and sniffed. He followed Pouncival's trail, which supposedly ended at some clovers. The Pollicle looked around for his meal, and then howled in agony at his loss. He bounded away with Tumblebrutus' blood dripping from his jowls.

Pouncival grinned triumphantly, but frowned as he heard a pained moan issue from Tumblebrutus' mouth. His friend was sitting protected in between Pouncival's legs, purring miserably.

"Tumblebrutus…" he said worriedly. "Bet it hurts. Sorry; I didn't know this'd happen. I'm dumb. I'm sorry — really… Tumblykins." Tumblebrutus chuckled quietly at this, which caused Pouncival to smile.

"Yeah, you are _really_ thick-headed sometimes, Pouncival. At least he only got my ankle and ear." He closed his eyes, still purring.

"The ear thing is pretty cool though, right? I mean, it happened to _Growltiger_. It makes you look tough, like him. Or me." Pouncival put his head atop Tumblebrutus', and laughed with his friend. "But I still have my ears… No offense, man." More laughs.

Tumblebrutus broke the silence after the laugh. "We need to go back to the junkyard."

"No! Let's just stay here; I'm sleepy. Anyways, you're hurt."

"Since when did me being hurt ever stop you?"

He swallowed. "I just — we, uh, might get attacked again, too! It's not just about you. I don't wanna end up as a cat skin rug."

"Fine," Tumblebrutus mumbled. "But I guess we should stay. We would probably walk right into a Pollicle if we went now. You're getting smarter, Pouncival."

"You say that like you're surprised." He frowned and pushed the purring cat onto the grass of the cave, curling around a large rock.

Tumblebrutus pushed himself up into a sitting position, licking at the wound on his ankle, which was gushing blood. He then licked his paw, sliding it over his torn ear. It wasn't very effective, but Tumblebrutus couldn't reach it with his own tongue.

He looked over at Pouncival, who was obviously pretending to be asleep. _I guess he's a little mad at me. He shouldn't be though, since he does worse stuff to me all the time… _He agreed with very much with himself.

"Uh, Pouncival?" Tumblebrutus asked. "I can't reach this one spot on my ear to groom, and, um, could you get it for me?"

"Why should I?" came the muffled response.

"Well, I _did_ almost get eaten alive by a Pollicle, and I thought, 'Gee, I think after all I went through to get you some mice, I deserve at least to be clean.' Don't you _think_ so?" He glimpsed his friend grudgingly getting up.

"I'm dumb, though," Pouncival said as he settled down next to Tumblebrutus. "Right?"

Tumblebrutus laughed. "I was just saying that! You know you're my best friend." Pouncival smiled happily, and started to lick Tumblebrutus' wounded ear.

"Ugh, nasty!" Pouncival drew back his tongue and hastily wiped it with a paw.

"What do you expect it to taste like, kitty treats? Just get it over with." Pouncival made a repulsed face, but obeyed.

The whole cleaning process was rather awkward. For one, Pouncival kept gagging on clotted blood and dirty fur, while Tumblebrutus giggled and twitched when accidentally tickled with Pouncival's tongue. A few times, after Pouncival licked a particularly ticklish area, Tumblebrutus banged his head into the grooming tom's. There was a good-sized bruise on Pouncival's temple by the time he was done. Even though it was all mostly uncomfortable, Tumblebrutus felt a lot better afterwards.

Tumblebrutus looked at Pouncival, who was holding his aching head. "I'm goin' to sleep. You too?"

He looked up. "Soon. I'm gonna wait until my head stops hurting. I would tell you to dream about unicorns and happy bunnies, but I'll save that for Mistoffelees. I think you should dream about getting tortured with hot iron glued to your big head. You'll know how I feel."

Tumblebrutus smiled sheepishly and lay down, rolling onto his side. He closed his eyes, falling asleep within seconds to the sound of Pouncival shifting around in the darkness.

* * *

Pouncival woke, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His breath fogged out in front of him, and his body was shaking from the lack of warmth. Moving his head slightly to the left, he caught a glimpse of Tumblebrutus' back. He was lying curled up in a tight, shivering ball.

Pouncival whispered, "Tumblebrutus…" There was a groan in response. He was apparently not the only one awake. "Are you cold?"

"N-no," Tumblebrutus stammered faintly. "Are y-y-you?"

"Not me." Pouncival rubbed his paws together, trying to create heat.

Minutes rolled agonizingly by, and by mutual consent, both toms began to huddle close together. Pouncival pressed himself up against Tumblebrutus' cold, furry back, and Tumblebrutus leaned into his chest. Purring, they got warmer and warmer. Pouncival placed his head on Tumblebrutus', snuggling into the thick fur. He smiled and felt a paw pull him even closer. The only noises that could be heard were deep purring and the soft sound of fur against fur.

"Mmm…" Tumblebrutus sighed. "_Warm_…"

Pouncival placed a paw on Tumblebrutus' shoulder, rubbing it in silent agreement. Then, before he could really think about what he was doing, he slowly slid his paw across the purring tom's chest and onto his stomach, rubbing circles. The purring got much louder.

The toms nuzzled each other. Pouncival grinned into Tumblebrutus' fur, rubbing his nose against it as Tumblebrutus rubbed his head against Pouncival, his eyes shut. Pouncival closed his own eyes, now nuzzling Tumblebrutus' shoulder, trying to get closer to the other tom. He turned his head slightly to the left just as the other tom turned to the right.

Pouncival moved his lips against Tumblebrutus'; it didn't occur to him that he was currently kissing his best friend. It felt good to him, so he saw no reason to stop. Tumblebrutus did. His eyes flew open.

Tumblebrutus roughly grabbed Pouncival's head and pulled him away from his lips. "What are you _doing_?" he whispered loudly. "Have you lost your Everlasting Cat-given Jellicle mind?"

"No…" he gazed confusedly through half-closed brown eyes. "Am I not allowed to kiss you?"

Tumblebrutus blushed. "Um, well… Usually _not_."

" 'Usually'? So does that mean I can now? It was getting good before you thought you had to practically rip out my fur."

"I'm sorry," Tumblebrutus felt guilty. "I guess you can, _you know_… whatever." In truth, it didn't really bother him, but thinking that thought was what bothered him.

Pouncival leaned into Tumblebrutus once again, kissing him and petting his stomach. This time Tumblebrutus kissed back, resting a paw on Pouncival's shoulder, pulling him closer. Feeling light-headed and pleasant, he opened his mouth slightly and touched the tip of his tongue to Pouncival's bottom lip. Pouncival pulled away.

"Could you keep your tongue out of my mouth?" Pouncival grinned while he said this, not really meaning it. He just liked to embarrass Tumblebrutus.

"Alright…" Tumblebrutus moaned.

They returned to kissing. Pouncival rolled them both over so that Tumblebrutus was lying on top, and put both of his paws on Tumblebrutus' back, rubbing the tight muscles into relaxation. He pressed his body into Tumblebrutus' and kissed him deeply. Just when he was enjoying it, Pouncival turned his head to the side.

"Your big nose is stabbing my cheek! What side of your family did you get that thing from?" Pouncival had a look of sheer delight on his face. "You could poke eyes out."

Tumblebrutus said nothing, not letting his friend get a rise out of him. Pouncival rose up to kiss him again, closing his eyes. Tumblebrutus could feel him smiling against his lips, and the annoying tom rose upwards and pressed himself against Tumblebrutus' body. Tumblebrutus purred and curled both of his arms around Pouncival's chest, squeezing the other tom to himself.

Pouncival broke the kiss and tilted his head at an angle to get at Tumblebrutus' neck. He licked a brown patch, tracing a pattern and kissing it afterwards. Pouncival started talking into Tumblebrutus' neck.

"You know," he said conversationally, as casually as he would if they were discussing where to go mousing. "When you were Demeter, you looked _really _good, man. Totally. Like _so hot _that I thought you were a queen for a second," Tumblebrutus groaned against the top of Pouncival's head in annoyance. "But you really aren't. And you don't look anything like Demeter _now_, you look like you, you know, my pal _Tumblebrutus_, and you still are… attractive… like I would like it if you… right now… yeah… never mind."

The annoyed tom prayed silently to all things having to do with the Heaviside Layer. Tumblebrutus purred as he rubbed his tail against Pouncival's thigh.

"Actually, I don't think I'm done talking yet," Pouncival said abruptly. "It really tickles when you do _that_. It's really hard not to laugh. Feels good, though. I'm definitely not as ticklish as you. Your _ear_ is ticklish! I can't believe —"

"Will you _please_ shut up, Pouncival!" Tumblebrutus had lost his patience. "Be quiet and just... be quiet."

"Why? Will you _punish _me for being a naughty kitty?"He waggled his eyebrows.

"C'mon, stop being childish! Seriously."

"Well, you are _seriously _going to have to kiss me to shut me up."

Tumblebrutus raised an eyebrow. "_Kiss_ you?" He was reminded excruciatingly of Munkustrap.

"Yep." He examined his claws. "Nothing else will shut me up."

Tumblebrutus leaned his head down hesitantly, as it was Pouncival who had started the kiss each time before. He touched his lips to the waiting tom's. A while into the kiss, Pouncival moaned.

"What was _that_?" Tumblebrutus laughed.

"I was just telling you that it felt good. Without words. Not that _you _do anything so I know you like it. _Do_ you like it?" Pouncival made big, sad eyes.

"Yeah, Pouncival..." He lowered his head to Pouncival's again, but a paw was pressed to his lips.

"You like it when I _what_?" Pouncival whispered, smirking.

"You know what I mean!"

"…"

"When you kiss me…"

Pouncival ran his paw gently over Tumblebrutus' lips. "What else? When I do this?" He slid a paw down Tumblebrutus' back and over his backside. "Or this?" He squeezed it. "Nice! Nice bottom you have on you."

He began rubbing it. Tumblebrutus lay there and suffered through it, even though he couldn't help but bite his lip to keep any weird sounds from coming out when Pouncival gave a startlingly enjoyable squeeze.

Suddenly, he was pushed onto his back and Pouncival was on top of him, with a crazy gleam in his eye. He looked like he was going to take him right then and there. He yanked Tumblebrutus up painfully by the fur on his shoulders, pressing their lips hard together. Pouncival switched his grip to Tumblebrutus' back, running his paws up and down. He then placed a paw between their bodies, rubbing every bit of Tumblebrutus' body downwards. The paw traveled lower and lower, until it just barely touched the tip of his —

Tumblebrutus grabbed Pouncival's traveling paw with his own, breathing heavily. "Have you ever _done_ this before?"

"No," he said, shrugging noncommittally. What did that have to do with anything?

"Well, let's just… Stop. Let's sleep."

"What do you exactly mean by sleeping?" He grinned at what he thought was cleverness.

"Sleep as in we close our eyes and dream."

"You're no fun." Tumblebrutus smirked at Pouncival.

"C'mon. I'm tired now."

Pouncival opened his mouth wide in a huge yawn, stretching out his tongue out of his mouth. "I'm not."

Tumblebrutus laughed, pulling Pouncival down next to himself. He wrapped his arms around Pouncival, and he rested his head below Tumblebrutus', purring along with the other tom. Tumblebrutus smiled, shaking his head. He watched Pouncival's reaction as he stroked his spine lightly. The cat arched slightly into the touch before falling asleep.

* * *

Munkustrap walked out of his den, carrying a load of garbage to throw out. It was almost time for Demeter to arrive, and so he didn't have that much time. _I can't believe she agreed to come here! So unlike her, but… can't complain._

Walking past an entrance to a cat home made out of ragged cloth, he heard voices talking about something. Deciding he could wait, since throwing out the garbage was the last thing he had to do before he got ready, he eavesdropped. Just because he was the Jellicle protector didn't mean he had to follow all of the rules.

"— and then I glamoured him!" he heard a voice say, who sounded like Mistoffelees.

"To be _who_?" said a tom who sounded a lot like a drunken Alonzo.

"He'll tell us. He's the worst secret-keeper I know," muttered Plato.

"Oh, gosh, no I'm not! Okay, you silly gooses, I'll tell you. I glamoured Tumblebrutus… to be _Demeter_!"

Munkustrap walked closer with a burning curiosity, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was.

"_Why_? What's the point?" Plato said.

"Well, Pouncival was jabbering on about a plan to fool Munkustrap and hunt in the woods… They're such pranksters, those two! Love 'em to death, I do."

Munkustrap's breath hitched. His mind whirled, and his stomach heaved. He had touched a _tom_… He had almost _kissed _an underage _kitten tom … _Practically molested him. _Oh, definitely feel something coming up now_. Covering his mouth with a paw, he ran away to his den, leaving the garbage in disarray.

When he got there, he threw himself onto his bed, no longer feeling the need to vomit. _Still, I can't believe I didn't notice he was _male._ I even touched his_… _Ugh…_ He felt his stomach clench again. After the moment passed, he closed his eyes tight shut. This was bad.

A noise interrupted his woe-filled thoughts. Of all felines, _Demeter_ was standing at the entrance to his den.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Munkustrap said savagely.

"I was —" her happy smile faded. "What's wrong? I just wanted to tell you something –"

"Go away. It's not the best time right now." Demeter appeared to be extremely hurt, like she was going to cry.

"Fine! I was only going to talk to you! But it seems as if lazing about on your bed is more important to you!" She turned on her heel to leave, but Munkustrap jumped up and grabbed her paw.

"Demeter! I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to… to be mean," he flattened his ears in apology.

"Oh, really Munkustrap? I could've sworn you were."

"Demeter, listen, I like _like _you. I do. A lot."

Her anger was erased from her face instantly. "Wow, I was going to tell you the same thing, Munkustrap! I do too!"

Munkustrap looked at her, his face lifting. Exulting in happiness, he lifted her off her feet and swung her in the air. "Great! That's awesome!"

Laughing, she gazed into Munkustrap's twinkling eyes. She leaned down, softly kissing his lips. They couldn't have been happier. Except for Munkustrap, who was probably never going to get over what he did to Tumblebrutus, the underage kitten… and a tom.


End file.
